December 2011
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I get to see my boyfraan tomorra. I do not get to see him enough :(
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Can someone please make me a gif of Annette Bening...
Thanks
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Dan got me a pair of elastic waist shorts.
Never before has fashion excited me so. All I need to do now is to wait for tracksuit pant material to come back in vogue and I’ll be set for life.
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Dear Alcohol
May you infect me with your sticky ignorance, that blissful, unrelenting stupidity which clings to my blood cells like a thousand horny koala bears, caressing my nervous system, fuelling my happiness, and rendering me child once again.
And may you protect me eternally from those awkward silences, where one man stutters and another man raises his glass without wetting his lips.
Though you come...
My cousin is so stupid I convinced her the star of Bethlehem was actually a nuclear explosion. She was shocked and astounded that they had such technology back then. “How did they even get it to work?”
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Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.
-Kurt Vonnegut, Man without a country.
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How to be an insane passive aggressive bitch (as...
1. Never ask for something directly. For example, if you want someone to clean their room say ‘are you going to clean your room today?’ or perhaps even ‘what are you going to do today?’ You could also try, ‘do you want me to spend all day picking up the clothes from your floor and washing them and putting them out on the line and folding them?’
2. Say...
finn0 asked: good lord, i love you.
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physiotherapichu asked: I can only think of possibly 2 girls in our year who'd mash lamb's brains... if you say it was someone like Greta Delaney or Sarah Hall though I will lose all faith in humanity
They're not that jolly.
finn0:
Butchers are the jolliest people
The only butcher I know is a girl in my year who one day in science class mashed a lamb’s brain in between her fingers until it was reduced to a greyish pinkish sludge. All the while laughing manically as all the girls around her cried.
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